Partying has never been more on my mind than when I’m not at a party. I avoided them for several years, but my interest sharpened as a result. The party was a very notable early casualty of the coronavirus pandemic, but it must be said that it was pretty trivial. By comparison, the lack of party felt like something not worth grieving or complaining about. What party faced such anguish?
But it’s sad to wait for the party to resume. The years spent under the shadow of the coronavirus, at least to me, have felt perfectly alive in the last few hours when the party you have open is due to begin. Who will appear first? who’s coming? Worse, these feelings have intensified over time and developed sharper edges. Mild social anxiety developed into full-blown fear. After all, partying is gambling. It appeals to both opportunity and disaster. This is why some of us find parties thrilling. That’s also why many of us fear them.
For example, out of all the parties I’ve ever attended, I’d say either I didn’t want to attend, or I just spent a lot of time questioning why I was there. is supposed to provide an opportunity for celebration and joy, but is often weighed down by other considerations, such as those stemming from feelings of social responsibility. There is something I long for and look forward to. But sometimes it feels like an obligation, an obligation, or even a punishment.
Hundreds of years after the word was born, Party Mainly refers to a part of the whole.Derived from Old French partyIt means “part, part”.then the word Party It also came to refer to a group of people who have something in common, such as opinions or political reasons. The history of the term is therefore characterized by tension between communion and division, with words sometimes favoring one side or the other.
The history of political parties is intertwined with the history of privilege, the history of the economic class. The great party in history When we think of her members, we tend to think of those who commanded wealth and wealth, like Marie Antoinette. These historical figures PartyThe etymology of the party is that they used their wealth to stand out, create space, and build fortresses between themselves and others. It is also a device that can be used to create or enhance The invitation both beckons the intended audience and lets others know they are not welcome.
No wonder parties have the power to make us uneasy. They are steeped in anxiety from their roots and even at the level of language.
Yet the party survives even in hard times, and when it shouldn’t. If partying is seen as the pinnacle of life—the pinnacle of hanging out—it’s no surprise that we turn to it when life proves to be particularly difficult. But how do you do that? When faced with all the pressing concerns of hardship, how should one muster the energy and enthusiasm to party?
Writer Henry Greene offers a careful tale of how certain frivolous types of people use parties as a form of recreation. Greene’s novel written during the Great Depression go to the party is about a fictional group of twenty-somethings associated with the “Bright Young Things” set. This was the name given to the real-life elite revelers who filled the British tabloids of the 1920s and his 30s. In Greene’s novel, the group are on their way to a party, but become stranded at a London train station due to fog. They wait for the weather to improve at the station hotel, where they meet in “desperate glee” and try to have a good time (but not hard). That includes dodging a series of crises that result from not attending the party. The irony of this situation, of course, is that Green’s characters are all together. Party, in a technical and pure sense. But they are not where the party is supposed to be held for people like them and this makes them miserable. It is cut off from the aesthetic richness that it thinks makes it what it is.
Green’s snapshots of this era, at least at first glance, look gaudy and subdued. Essentially an overgrown child, his characters make witty arguments about superficial concerns. They complained about the “troublesome” fog, viewing it as a personal insult to their plans, and one character said that drinking or making cocktails for the host during his absence was socially inappropriate. I consider it acceptable. But all that companionship serves to mask feelings of social awkwardness and incompetence. have soured many relationships, making the prospect of the party they had planned less appealing. turned out to be a means All they wanted all along was not a good time, not a respite from the world of the Great Depression, but activity for the sake of activity, keeping them busy. exposes them to the empty truths of normal life.
But when viewed through the lens of an era such as the Great Depression, a good party may not just look like a means of diversion, but a survival mechanism. , instilling pauses that allow participants to rest and plan. The party brings people together and gives them temporary shelter within that pause space. Of course, political parties cannot solve the world’s problems, but they can be a spark of courage in those who face them.
Put another way, the party is about practicing wishful thinking. Have a party to build a container to store your wishes. Even the verb you use to encapsulate that action, throw, might suggest throwing life preservers into open water. The party is where we park our dreams. We pack a party full of what we want most from the world: sex, desirability, social companionship, indulgence, freedom from consequences. and wait for the next job to come.
I think our parties were all about hope when I was in college. They were where we practiced and performed our skills as fledgling adults. It included a variety of themes and costumes. Ohio is a place that forces people to create their own fun, and dressing up is also sacred to the performance work itself.
For example, I remember one of the last parties I attended on campus. Some of my friends were planning a last minute costume party.The theme was Dress like you in 10 years.
That night there was such a rain that the lilacs bent to the ground and their flowers littered the campus sidewalks. I wore an all-tweed outfit and put together a goodwill outfit. I emerged soaked and dressed in what felt like ten pounds of soaked wool. I was wearing a smock. According to the last we heard of her, she teaches her preschool education in Portland.
We used these costumes to communicate and advertise our hopes for the future. I disguised myself as something I wasn’t, to reveal something I desperately wanted, something I was afraid to try.
At that party, I felt exposed because I knew I was announcing my intentions in a very public way. was wearing a wool three-piece suit. Not because I had never seen a professor at my university wear it in person, but because I knew the costume would speak the way I wanted it to. Things I was still afraid to say out loud to myself and others. But my fears turned out to be less than the lure of hope. I was using performative gestures to feel the weight of the future and test if it was possible.
That’s why, although you may be afraid to party, you need to party. They force us to make time to envision our desires and aspirations. At the peak of social distancing, partying felt impossible. And sometimes so was the future.
This article is an excerpt from Sheila Liming’s forthcoming book.Hanging out: The fundamental power of killing time.
