why no one sleeps with me Sharing a bed not only warms your body (which is handy at this point), but it also warms your heart, says COSMO LANDESMAN. the only problem?His female friends are always like ‘bonk and bolt’
- Cosmo Landesman reveals women leave after sex so they have to sleep on their own
- He disagrees with Billy Crystal who said to Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.After sex, a man only thinks of one thing:
- Read more: Diary of Liz Jones: Worshipers Angle for a Visit
i can’t sleep! It’s 3am and I can’t sleep! I’m sitting up straight, staring into the darkness, thinking the same things I always think at 3am. Why can’t I find a girl to sleep with?
I don’t mean have sex with me, I mean sleep with me. Like, spend the night in my bed. Hug and wake up entwined in each other’s arms. Or back to back. Perhaps a spot on the spoon? I even offered a sleepover bribe – make tea in the morning! Back pat and breakfast delivered in bed! But whatever the offer, the answer is always the same. No, I have to go.
The woman I’m seeing now said that three hours ago, and she’s always said that since then. For one moment, we were in bliss, wrapping each other tightly like a bandage. Before I could say Uber, she was gone. So I’m alone at 3am – 3:25 to be exact – I’ve had two wives, dozens of lovers, and tons of girlfriends, so why should I sleep alone? Are you wondering? Me? is it them?
It’s the worst season to sleep alone. (It’s so gross that people practice “cuffing,” which is when you’re on vacation or when you’re on a date with someone to keep you warm during the cold months.) It gets dark early, it’s bloody cold, and nobody turns the heating on. Can you afford to turn it on? Yes, I have a hot water bottle, but nothing beats a warm body. I also miss the connection when two bodies fit perfectly into each other, like missing pieces in a jigsaw puzzle. Suddenly you can see the bigger picture of life and you don’t look scary or lonely. Your dark 3am thoughts will disappear. Your bed is warm and so is your heart.
i can’t sleep! It’s 3am and I can’t sleep! I’m sitting up straight, staring into the darkness, thinking the same things I always think at 3am. Why can’t I find a girl to sleep with?
Over the past few years, I have had three women in my life and none of them I wanted to spend the night with. In the classic romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally…, Billy Crystal told Meg Ryan that after sex, men only think about one thing.
That’s what these bolting women are thinking about me – how long do I have to hold this poor man before I can get back to my bed? So now I know what it’s like to be a woman.
But why don’t these women like staying up late? Is it a feminist/autonomy/empowerment thing? Fear of intimacy? A fundamental preference for your territory? all of the above?
One woman told me she couldn’t spend the night because she had to go home for her cat. But when I suggested that we stay at her house instead, she said that her cat, who had always slept with her, I explained that I dislike strange men in bed.
Another woman said she couldn’t stay because she had to go back to her children. “Of course,” I said. ‘I understand. ‘ But I didn’t. Her “kids” were in their twenties!
At least one woman has been honest about her reasons. “I hate sleeping in other people’s beds!” she confessed. “I can’t really sleep. I like the duvet and pillows. The men’s bed always smells weird. A little musty.”
“Okay,” I said. ‘Would you like to sleep in your bed?’ “I hate it when someone sleeps in my bed,” she said. “It’s an intrusion into your personal space.”
You are defenseless when you sleep. It takes trust and I know the morning will be seen at its worst (stock image)
Yes, don’t sleep with someone who talks about invading your “personal space.” But I always thought an invitation to stay up late was welcomed by women. “No,” says the young woman’s friend. “It’s a sign of desperation and destitution. No more than a man offering a spare toothbrush (which the previous woman knew had been used before) and his one of his old Ponzi T-shirts to sleep with.” Never be sexy.
It’s strange that you want to share bodily fluids with each other but not share a bed. But sleeping with someone is an intimate act, and in some ways more intimate than sex. It takes trust and we know it will be at its worst in the morning.
I confess I’m not an easy guy to sleep with. For most partners, I tend to go to bed too early. A few years ago, I asked my then-girlfriend to marry me. ‘Absolutely not! ‘ she declared. She “won’t marry a guy who goes to bed at 8:30 at night” (I don’t always go to bed that early – honestly!) and yes, she snores (horribly). I have to pee at least 3 times a night. And sometimes I get night sweats. OK, nobody’s perfect.
That being said, I’m a guy who loves to cuddle all night and I often brew morning tea.
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