“As a leader, I put pressure on myself to say, ‘I’m going to be okay, I have to be strong,’ but it’s when you’re most vulnerable to your team that you find the most connection. There is,” she said. “I think it’s important for leaders and people in positions of power to say, ‘I’m not okay, you might not be okay, but I’m okay. It doesn’t matter.
Panic attacks brought Martin’s battle with anxiety to the forefront at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.
“I was so confused and was like, ‘What’s going on? Why am I feeling this way? But I don’t know why, I started panicking,'” she said. .
To calm himself while trying to capitalize on opportunities, Martin turned to home training and found positives in an increasingly uncertain world. But Martin has gone too far in the wrong direction, especially when it comes to diet, he said.
Martin sometimes joked about her lack of food, but when she returned to campus it all came to a head and how she had changed left her support system in shambles.
“It’s funny looking back now, because I want to do so many things. But I’ve gone days without eating, eating granola bars and feeling, ‘I’m fine today,’ I was attending practices and things like that,” and I always felt like crap,” she said.
“I definitely had a lot of difficult conversations. I think the most important thing about growing up with mental health is being open to those difficult conversations. Growing up is having those conversations.” I would be in the same situation if I hadn’t listened to them.”
Martin’s introspection led her to the same question. It’s so simple and yet so complicated. why?
“I feel like I was a second person,” she said. Inside they were looking at me the way I wanted them to like me.t I was happy enough.In a way,why wasn’t that happy? It was really hard to think: why am I not getting out of this, why is this happening continuously, that’s why.”
Ultimately, the tear in the MCL he suffered during the pandemic opened the door for Martin to regain control and ease his anxiety, as he was able to focus on himself without worrying about what other people thought. .
“A lot of the anxiety is about the efforts of outsiders or the control of your life,” she said. Do they like me?Am I going to do good things?But at the end of the day, you can only control yourself and your efforts… You can’t even control your emotions, but you can’t control your emotions. You can control how you react, and how you keep growing.”
But MCL’s recovery process also meant being on the sidelines, which presented another challenge to her battle with anxiety. It’s about establishing her identity and her interests off the court.
“Even if the gym was open, even if I was practicing volleyball, I couldn’t do anything,” she said. “In that sense, I’ve been lonely because throughout my life, and the lives of many athletes, we’ve described ourselves as our sport. In a way it’s been taken away. Sometimes it was like, “Who am I without this?” And that’s when I think the most growth really begins. ”
Today, Martin is proud of himself, and thanks to his parents, Angela and Bruce, and brother and sister, for being there when he needed them, and for using the on-campus mental health services at Olds College. I am grateful for that.
While she still sometimes struggles with why questions, Martin’s message to anyone who may be struggling before Make Some Noise for mental health is simple. Don’t be afraid to admit it.
“There’s no shame in saying ‘I’m having a hard time,'” she said. “Being vulnerable and acknowledging what you are going through is actually far more empowering. It’s important to do so to understand how you can get over it.”
A video feature of the story can be found on the ACACTV website.
The Broncos are hosting three Make Some Noise for Mental Health game nights.
- January 20th – Basketball vs. SAIT – 6pm (Women) / 8pm (Men) – Ralph Klein Center
- January 21st – Volleyball vs. SAIT – 6pm (Women) / 8pm (Men) – Ralph Klein Center
- January 26th – Women’s Hockey vs. RDP – 7pm – Olds Sportsplex