In interpersonal relationships, narcissists often prioritize control over intimacy. Although manipulative, maintaining a partner’s emotional control is a powerful way to gain control of a relationship. It slowly erodes a person’s self-esteem.
While some narcissistic traits are universal and fairly human, partners who are determined and stubbornly defensive may lack empathy, emotional harmony, and the ability to consider a loved one’s point of view. There is.
By combining two unconscious defense mechanisms, idealization and devaluation, a narcissist can exert excessive control over their partner. The way narcissists idealize people is by bombarding them with love and agreeing with everything they think and say. Devaluing, or treating the person as if they mean nothing to the narcissist and deserves to be fixed, is how the narcissist devalues the person.
At first, the person may feel secure in the narcissist and trust the narcissist more than anyone else in their life. He or she becomes unresponsive and unavailable. A person feels invisible and emotionally abandoned. She may demand that the problem be identified and fixed in order to rebuild the bond.
Narcissists typically respond with indifference and convey disapproval of essential aspects of the person. You talk to your mother a lot.You tell her everything.It’s strange.”Now the person feels immature in intimacy with his mother and longs to regain a romantic bond. As a result, I talk less and less with my mother.
The narcissist then rewards the person for doing what he or she wants by giving generously of attention and affection. Ecstatic and relieved that she has regained her fading love for her partner, the person trusts the narcissist again.
As soon as the narcissist “gets the person involved” and she trusts again, the narcissist repeats the same pattern to gain more control. Try to do everything you can to please the narcissist, including giving up.
A pattern of idealization and devaluation slowly affects the narcissist a lot. Additionally, her mental health is suffering tremendously. Desperate to avoid a heartbreaking abandonment again, she is overly wary of appeasing the narcissist.Her constant emotional abandonment causes her to lose her ego and makes her increasingly insecure. increase.
Instead of focusing on activities and responsibilities she enjoys, her mission becomes to appease her narcissistic partner. Or if you leave her, you realize that you may not have much life to go back to.
Continuous micro-abandonment combined with other manipulations can create feelings of inadequacy and insecurity in a person. Unfortunately, narcissists also use this to their advantage. Blaming the person for being “crazy and clingy” can make them feel like they’re the real problem.
While this situation is grim, it may help a person to recognize that the narcissist is using micro-abandonment to create anxiety and gain control. Sometimes she may try to trust the people around her who can confirm. The best therapy may be to get emotional space from the narcissist. Repeatedly, it can be a difficult party to use. This may provide her with an opportunity to get her point of view without the narcissist imposing another. This break may allow her to hear her own voice and listen to her instincts.