Your sleep routine is down. From your bedtime routine to the perfect sleep environment, there’s nothing you don’t know about optimizing shuteye. But you can also burn your good intentions to the ground if someone a foot away is snoring, fidgeting, or following a completely different sleep pattern.
A gentle (ha!) jab on the ribs after their snoring wakes you up for the third time only breeds simmering resentment over your morning coffee. According to her recent YouGov poll, women (41%) are more likely than men (33%) to say they sleep better alone than with someone. In fact, her 1 in 5 couples prefer to sleep in separate beds.
But what if you don’t have the luxury of an extra room to retreat to? Couches seem a little unfair and don’t exactly foster loving intimacy. What is the solution when sharing
Are you a “sensitive” or “martini” sleeper?
Creating a bedroom environment that works for both sleeps takes two, but individual needs may vary.
“If one of you is a sensitive sleeper, waking up at the slightest sound or movement, and the other is a ‘martini’ sleeper, able to sleep anytime, anywhere, anywhere, the latter compromises.” You should be prepared. ” said Dr. Nerina Ramlakan, sleep and health expert. stylist(For non-martini drinkers, the brand’s tagline is “anytime, anywhere, anywhere”).
“Communication is key. The goal is to create a sanctuary-like space where the two of you can feel safe and spend the day together,” she adds.
Aside from agreeing on temperature, light levels, and overall ambiance, the bed you share is important for a good night’s sleep. Dr. Bostock said: stylist: “If you wake each other up often, consider separate beds, even if you have to be in the same room. Not touching makes it harder for each other to wake up.”
If two beds in one room seems a bit excessive, she adds: It’s effective just to separate the duvet. ”
Respect each other’s “sleeping animals”
Our circadian rhythms are governed by the amount of sunlight, whereas our chronotypes (body clocks) are largely determined by genetics. This is the classic night owl vs early riser scenario, often characterized by other “sleeping animals”. psychology today describes four chronotypes: lion, bear, dolphin, and wolf. Clearly, most of us are bears, who follow our solar schedule closely and often sleep deprived during the week and oversleeped on weekends to make up for it.
“We all have a genetic predisposition to getting up and down in certain patterns, and we all have certain sleep hours,” explains Dr. Bostock. “On average, women tend to have slightly earlier body clocks than men, but there’s a lot of natural variation. Try to stay true to your internal sleep drive.
“The ideal for sleep quality is consistency in your sleep and wakefulness patterns. So instead of alternating between these patterns, try to find a good compromise between them. Consistency is impossible.” If so (one of you may be a shift worker), try to resume the same pattern as soon as possible.
“A luminous alarm clock or a light box that lights up for 20 to 30 minutes each morning can wake up a night owl early if needed,” she says.
How to deal with a snoring partner
Earplug
Our sleep experts agree that snoring is one of the biggest sleep-related problems in relationships. It entails serious risks.
measure the volume
“Snoring can cause major problems in relationships. In many cases, snorers themselves are unaware of the cacophony of noise they are making at night,” says Dr. Ramlakhan. “If they’re in denial, it’s a common source of frustration in relationships, and it might be worth measuring how much they snore at night.” You can do this using our app.
Encourage lifestyle fine-tuning
“Then find out if their snoring is really affecting you, and prevent things like increasing your hydration, cutting down on caffeine and alcohol intake, getting regular exercise, practicing your voice, etc. Find a gentle, diplomatic way to communicate that you might be tempted to try a strategy on your throat muscles,” she suggests.
or have them try therapy
Dr. Bostock agrees and explains: You can do exercises that strengthen the tongue, pharynx, and cheek muscles to improve muscle tone and make collapse less likely. It’s called myofunctional therapy, and he saw improvement after just 10 minutes of practice a day for eight weeks. ”
Does sex help you both sleep?
Well, you’re already in bed and now you’re both awake…you can also make the most of it, right? Dr. Bostock explains that although research is currently limited, there is some evidence to suggest that sex can help you get into a better physical and psychological state for sleep.
However, intimacy can help promote the right hormones for sleep. She explains: Hugging, gently stroking, and massaging can increase oxytocin. It doesn’t have to be sex. It’s intimacy. ”
Sex aside, there are other activities you do together at bedtime. Dr. Ramlakhan recommends practicing meditation and gratitude exercises together as particularly bonding and sleep-inducing.
Dr. Bostock has done this himself. This ensures he always ends the day on a positive note. ”
Conflicting sleep habits don’t have to hurt your relationship
Even if you and your partner are very different when it comes to sleep, that doesn’t mean an unhappy ending is inevitable.
“Patience, tolerance, empathy and communication are key,” says Dr. Ramlakan. “If your partner is sensitive to sleep, be aware that they should relax in the evening with rules such as soft lighting and no technology in the bedroom.
“There will be times when we can’t sleep together. Ideally, we’ll have access to another sleeping space for those times, but if we don’t, compromises are key. It has a unique relationship with sleep and the key is to navigate with sensitivity and understanding.There is no one-size-fits-all.”
