For years I have tried to master, correct, avoid, neutralize and disengage my emotions. I was filled with anger, hatred, anger, sadness, frustration, fear, and I could never cure my “negative emotions.”
I am now Unbelievably Happy That I was so emotionally distraught. Those painful feelings ignited my passion to rethink my assumptions about emotions and later reclaim myself and my manhood.
I started thinking about some new (and one old) evidence-based psychotherapy concept inspired by the four sacred truths of Buddhism (“There is suffering, but there is no problem”). Originating in Japan about 100 years ago, Morita therapy had the genius idea of recognizing that it is natural to experience painful emotions in certain situations.
More recently, evidence-based psychotherapies such as ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) offer Buddhist-inspired alternatives to “thought therapies” such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).these treatments Others helped me ask the question: What if there is no such thing as “negative emotions”? What if
This is what I am writing in my new book. please fuck me for real: Emotions, even “bad” emotions, give us the data we need to act next. I applied these evidence-based psychotherapies to my patients over the years, and the “Five Noble Steps” began to emerge. This formed my conceptualization of Radical Emotional Reception (REA) with 5 Steps (or “Five Receptions”).
As the men in my practice began to express their emotions freely, their lives began to change. Many of their “emotional issues” will disappear if they apply the 5 Steps to get their life back. My relationships and work have improved. significantly increased income. Improved self-esteem and physical health. My depression and anxiety symptoms subsided. In short, they were whole again and at peace with their emotional reality.
REA set me free. I was fighting myself all the time. In my head, I believed all sorts of BS stories about my emotions. I just say “Be a man and take it!” i need to let it go I shouldn’t be angry I should be happy It shouldn’t be so scary. Do not allow hatred in your heart. I shouldn’t be jealous. I “should” with my whole body!
REA was like a nuclear bomb that destroyed all those toxic thoughts and beliefs. because i have them If emotions weren’t the problem, I’d just solved my biggest problem—our Biggest problem! If emotions don’t matter, what good are emotions? yes. or is the question. Being interested in why our painful, scary, sad, or otherwise uncomfortable feelings are actually good for us is the way to our own answers.
What are the 5 steps of extreme emotional acceptance? What is the gist of how the steps transform us into full men again?
1. Lower the shield.
Ah shield emotion It is an emotion (or defense mechanism) that “protects” us from feeling vulnerable, painful, or scary. Anger is a classic example. Anger is such a powerful emotion that it can be easily dealt with. When you’re in a rage, you kill them, so no one’s going to ruin you! .
2. Name the emotion.
Just name the list of current emotions No explanation: For example, sad, scared, disappointed, frustrated, hurt, or embarrassed.this is raw and pure emotional data. (Remember emotions Pure, visceral feelings and moods that need no explanation.emotions and stories Feeling, and the stories are often untrue and toxic. )
3. Listen to your emotions.
What are your emotions trying to tell you about this situation or relationship? Perhaps underneath the outburst of anger towards your partner for saying that disrespectful thing is deep hurt and disappointment, and that she will be the same again. Those painful feelings tell deep truths about relationships. Pay attention.this is your source wisdom of emotions.
4. Acting (or not acting) on emotions.
Once you have all the emotional data and wisdom, it’s time to put it back into your logical brain. Now you can decide the best course of action to satisfy your desires. do you speak up for yourself? Ask for help? do you run? Kiss and make up? Or are you aware that you don’t need to do anything?
Ironically, my patients usually don’t need much help in this department.My only job is to match men to my emotional wisdom. They are smart and brave. Enough to decide what to do from there.
5. Appreciate emotions.
This is my favorite step! If you can find true gratitude that your painful emotions are really helping you, they are no longer a problem. There is a popular book that essentially says don’t fuck, I know it’s not entirely reasonable. A better way is to accept your feelings and work with them. Men have a lot to gain if we do.