Brian Coberger, an accused Idaho murderer, admitted that as a teenager he felt “emotionless” and “like a bag of meat” after soberly watching online posts, later calling his childhood friend said he wanted to study “famous” criminals.
In 2011, when he was 16, he allegedly wrote to the mental health forum TapaTalk, “I feel like an organic meatbag with no self-esteem.”
“I hold my family and look into their faces, but I can’t see anything. It’s like watching a video game, but not so much.”
The eerie post announced Kohberger’s arrest on December 30 for the stabbing to death of 21 University of Idaho students Kaylee Goncalves, 21 Madison Magen, and 20 Xana Kernodle on November 13. Here’s one of several articles the New York Times got this week. and Ethan Chapin, 20. At home off-campus in Moscow.

At the time of the murder, Coberger, now 28, was a doctoral student in criminology at Washington State University in Pullman, about 15 minutes from the murder scene.
Ten years ago, Kohberger’s email-linked account wrote on Tapatalk that he was depressed and distracted by “constant suicidal thoughts.”
“Nothing I do is fun,” one post said.

“I’m blank, I have no opinions, no feelings, nothing. Can you relate?”
In another example, a user boasted that he could “do whatever he wanted with very few regrets.”
Kohberger can also use the forum to connect with others who reportedly suffer from Visual Snow Syndrome, a rare neurological disorder in which an individual’s vision is obscured by static-like dots. It is said that

“I know it really bothered him,” high school friend Thomas Arntz told The Times of Coberger’s condition.
“He was basically to the point where he was nervous about it.”
A TapaTalk post chronicles his attempts to alleviate symptoms, including migraine medications, neurologist visits, and a sugar-free, starchy diet.

“He didn’t eat any bread and only ate certain fruits,” Arntz told the outlet.
“It was very restrictive.”
By 2012, The Times reported that Coberger’s post sounded more optimistic. He graduated from high school the following year, but reportedly soon became addicted to heroin.

Rich Pasqua, who was a few years ahead of Coberger, told The Times that they used heroin together in 2013 and 2014 when they worked as New York pizza girls in Efort, Pennsylvania. He described the young man as socially clumsy and said he didn’t seem to have many friends.
“We came to a dead end, saw their orange lights, and Brian said, ‘Get over here! Gated community.
“He said, ‘We’re going to be in big trouble.'”

Pasqua, now sober and working at a rehab center, said his wife, who was in Coberger’s class, remembered him being fat since high school and was bullied because of his size.
Eventually, Pasqua told the outlet that he started picking up the phone when Coberger’s father called, indicating that his troubled son was in rehab.
“I just used [heroin] Coberger reportedly wrote a letter to childhood friend Jack Bayliss on Facebook messenger in May 2018.

At this point, Kohberger seemed to be doing well and was studying psychology at DeSales University. He told Bayliss that he had been drug free for two years.
“I’ve learned so much since then. No one alive could persuade me to use it,” he continued.
Coberger also told Bayliss that he developed a “strange sense of meaning” because he had been depressed since he was five years old.

In October 2018, he wrote that he was interested in studying and “counseling” violent offenders.
“I think along the lines of dealing with high-profile criminals,” he told Bayliss.
“It’s wild,” Bayliss told The Times of Coberger’s subsequent arrest for the Idaho killings.

“Brian himself would have been fascinated by it.”
A revelation from Coberger’s spine-chilling correspondence ordered him to waive his right to a speedy trial and remain in detention without bail after making a short, stony look in Lata County Court on Thursday. It was brought after it was given.
Investigators scramble to find a plausible social connection between Coberger and the victim, but an arrest affidavit says he may have been a stalker months before the murder. shows .

“[He] An unnamed acquaintance of Pullman said Wednesday.
“And he was like, ‘Yeah, they don’t seem to have a clue. It seems like it was a crime of passion.
Coberger has yet to file a petition for indictment against him. His next provisional status hearing is set for June 26th.
Shannon Gray, a lawyer for the Gonsalves family, said: “I think everyone was surprised because it’s been six months.
“But we hope to give the prosecution enough time to actually dial in.”