debtOr among parents on social media, there seems to be a new parenting trend or topic every other week. Whether you’re looking into attachment styles, digging deep into how to implement a chore chart, or desperately trying to find a discipline method to ease the chaos in family life, there’s an overwhelming amount of information available. . When the stakes are as high as “raising a child to be a good person”, it might feel like you need to get the equivalent of an internet master’s degree in psychology to get parenting right. leads us to the popular conscious parenting tips that are taking the internet by storm.
It’s no surprise that conscious parenting was one of the biggest parenting trends in 2022. With 255 million views of him on #conscious parenting on TikTok, it’s safe to say that people are intrigued by the concept. Conscious parenting experts believe that in order to raise healthy, emotionally resilient children, we need to understand how we were raised. This may mean facing past trauma and examining how the adults around you who have grown up met or failed to meet your needs. This kind of inner working is easier said than done, but it can make a big difference in breaking the generational cycle of trauma and fear-based discipline.
Here are some conscious parenting tips to increase your child’s emotional resilience and give yourself peace about your past in the process.
In many cases, we expect children to regulate their powerful emotions while having the equivalent of “adult tantrums” on a regular basis in front of them.
4 Conscious Parenting Tips That Will Teach Your Child Emotional Resilience
1. Recognize that adults have tantrums too
When things don’t go your way, you may be insisting on your child to pull it together when it comes to staying calm, without realizing that you’re actually modeling the exact opposite.
Dan Peters, PhD is a psychologist and parent footprint podcast. Dr. Peters considers himself a proponent of conscious parenting approaches, citing the tendency of children to imitate the behaviors they see from adults in their lives. , we learn to be human by seeing and hearing our parents. If you speak negatively, your child is more likely to do the same,” he says.
In other words, sometimes it actually shows the exact behavior we are trying to suppress in our children. We expect children to regulate their powerful emotions while they’re at it.
“Adult tantrums can take the form of yelling, throwing things, punching walls, verbal abuse, ignoring, withholding love and affection, and being passive-aggressive,” Dr. Peters explains. “Tantrums can react to virtually anything: children not listening, disobedience, rejection, things not going as expected, feeling unappreciated, feeling unwell. , be late for appointments, get stuck in traffic, go unlisted.”
If this behavior sounds embarrassingly familiar, well, chances are you’re the one who does this, and it’s likely not your fault. I never want to be like this.However, this type of behavior may be the result of growing up without being taught the skills needed to effectively regulate emotions. if you must somehowyou may revert to behavior that feels (and, let’s be honest, looks) like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
2. Take a frequent emotional inventory
It may be a long road to mastering your own emotions, but the good news is that you can start now. Recognizing your emotions, communicating verbally, and taking time to calm down and think before reacting in tense moments will become habits over time. may affect, but does not necessarily determine it.
Of course, if you want to manage your emotions well, you need to be aware of them. And it doesn’t always feel good, especially in the beginning. In particular If there’s trauma in our past and we’re not at all excited to process it. It’s often hard to admit it to others, but they’re often messengers from the past, pushing us to learn and grow,” he says.
Dr. Peters says a simple exercise to increase emotional awareness is to slow down and ask yourself questions as a way to take stock of your current situation. is as follows:
- What do you think about this situation?
- what do i feel in my body
- why is this bothering me?
- Does this remind me of my past experiences?
- Is this feeling towards me or towards my child?
- What is my desired result here?
Once you get used to asking yourself some of these questions before answering sensitive moments, you can share them with your child as a coping strategy to help them name and regulate their emotions. I can do it.
3. Master the Art of Apologizing
Apologizing to an adult when you’ve been wrong can require an extreme degree of humility, even in the best of circumstances. Apologizing to your children can feel even more difficult. There is a possibility that
But apologizing to a child after a hurtful situation can teach him how to be human and hold him accountable. they Extremely. A good apology doesn’t have to be a massive piece of work, but it should address the hurt caused and avoid scapegoating others.
“Let your child know that your emotions have grown, or that you felt them so strongly that you didn’t handle the situation the way you wanted. Tell them what you’re trying to do,” says Dr. Peters.
For young children, this means keeping things simple and direct. With the older child or her teens, you may want to share more about what triggered your strong emotions and overreactions.
4. Say your true feelings
Frankly, kids know you’re not real with them. And pretending everything is fine by trying to show them how to bounce back doesn’t help in the long run.
“Children aren’t learning about emotional resilience when they see their parents succeed, they never disappoint, they always do everything right,” says Dr. Peters. Instead, they are learning how to set unrealistic expectations.
It may feel counterintuitive, but by expressing your disappointments and frustrations honestly (without blaming your child, of course), you can set the way life actually unfolds. When parents give their children a peek at how to go through a bad day without bringing it up on others, they are better prepared to deal with their own bad days in the future.
Plus, talking to your child about your emotions, both good and bad, can help your child learn how to label their emotions. Concepts have a huge impact on how children perceive themselves in relation to others and can help them manage difficult situations. But if you’re still struggling to connect with your child, we have advice from all over the world.